Communication Joker Gifts

"Whu-u-u-u-u-u-u-uht?"

"Maybe then, I'll be able to get a word in edgewise."

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Fittd shēt

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Prisoner still life painting.

"Hello?"

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"He took that kinda hard."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

'It's for you.'

"You've got to give him credit - He was the first in his family to learn to talk."

"Don't forget to ask their e-mail address."

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

'Another failure to communicate?'

"Ha ha, I guess my photo on the dating site may have been a little misleading."

"I'm on the internet, dad...I am trolling!"

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

Trapeze artists.

"Can you hear me now?"

'It appears your son has a tweeting disorder'

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

'The number you have reached has gone bankrupt....'

"This is weird . . . I haven't got a single text or email in the past three minutes."

Man on stilts on cell phone.

"Anyone not turning off their phones will be appointed to solicit parishioners for our fund drive."