Cell Phone Juggler Pillows

'Take a message...'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Wealth Juggler.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Overworked

The Communicator

"Hello?"

'The numbers aren't working.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'But the only way I can explain our derivatives and stock swaps is through interpretive dance!'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

"And make it quick. I need those numbers yesterday – before last night's lottery draw."

'It's for you.'

When fuzzy math's happens to sharp accountants

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Woman holding two phones together.

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Multitasking.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

"Gotta go."

Trapeze artists.

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'