Phone Juggler Pillows

Ed, you have six new messages.

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Don't move.'

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"I'm in the air right now - let me call you back after I land."

Woman holding two phones together.

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

"I thought I placed myself on a 'Do not call' list from you people. Well, as long as you're here, can you put Mom on?"

"Damn that call waiting!"

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Overworked

'..And he's saved by the bell.'

'That's why I never text while jogging.'

'Are you on to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

The Communicator

'Dude... I'll put you on hold while I chill out with a few brewskis!'

'Just a sec. I have to put a customer on ignore.'

Multitasking.

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"Mr. Holcome, your mother is on lines one through nine."

"Maybe if you looked less at your phone and watched where you were going, Timmy, you wouldn't keep falling in there."

"Actually, Mother, this is a bad time ..."

"Gotta go."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Hello?"

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."