Digital Device Juggler Pillows

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Communicator

Information Tightrope.

Overworked

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

Woman holding two phones together.

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

'I love working with my hands.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

Multitasking.

"Gotta go."

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.