Cellphone Jester Pillows

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Yo, Gluteus, it's me, Maximus! What's shakin'? Great. My husband just butt-dialed me again.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Hardware and software

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

The Communicator

Overworked

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

Texting Rodeo Clown

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'Take a message...'

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

Cyber crime.

Woman holding two phones together.

"I see balloons, food and drinks. Not only are there ants in our keyboard, they seem to be having a party."

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

"Gotta go."

Cow Printer

Computer clown.

Multitasking.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."