Phone Call Jester Pillows

'We're not a call centre... However.'

Anyone here called bunny chops?

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Bad Interview Technique

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

The Communicator

Overworked

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Is he taking the piss?'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

'...I mean on the one hand you have a set of avaricious money and status obsessed paper shuffler...'