Philosophy-loving Colleague Gifts

'Well, so much for the 'no new commandments' pledge!'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The Questioner'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Pastorius wonders why.

Zenemies.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

How world war III started.

"Moulting"

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."