Philosophy-loving Friend Gifts

'Diogenes - I'm appointing you to form an ethics committee.'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Mr. Schimpf Learns the Secret of Life

Cartesian Chopped Liver

"The meaning of life at a glance"

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

WISDOM! WHILE IT LASTS!, 'Maybe the sign wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

'The Questioner'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Skeptic Tank.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Pastorius wonders why.

Zenemies.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'