Philosopher's Best Friend Gifts

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Skeptic Tank.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Et in Arcadia Ego

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Moulting"

Conference on the Control of Time and Space. Left to Right: Isaac Newton, Aristotle, HG Wells, Ptolemy,Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus.

Scurile travels

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"Don't believe in labels."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."