Philosopher's Confidant Gifts

A man goes to see a guru who is contemplating suicide.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Time for tea and friendship.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Nihilistic customer service"

Free speech isn't cheap!

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Don't believe in labels."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

'It was my unfair dismissal claim cap.'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

'All I know is that when life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade...is there such a thing as curveballade?'

Early Man Late Man

'Get an afterlife!'

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.