Philosophy Fanatic Gifts

'I didn't know secular humanists HAD missionaries!'

I think, therefore I yam…

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'I stink therefore I am...!'

'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last.'

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"You're giving them free will? -- I didn't realize you had a libertarian streak."

Fatalism.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

'If life is a game, how come I never get to take foul shots?'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'And over the next few days, I fully intend to show you how this butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon is, in fact, responsible for the murder of Mr. Huard.'

Desk Organizers: It will be what it will be... It is what it is... What the #!@ was that?

"You won't find any cute little birdies here."

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

"Is there a God?"

"I sold my soul to the Devil but the joke's on him. I'm an atheist!"

Paradise and Hell

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

'Money won't buy you happiness, you know.'

"Can I rent happiness with an option to buy?"

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

Kindness ~truly better to give than receive.

"It's foreclosed? - I didn't even know we HAD a mortgage."

'Remember, man does not live by spiritual enlightenment alone. I've already made my bundle.'

Early Greek Humor. I love Aristotle, but oh, Eu-clid!

Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet "It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies." If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up bei

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Buy Wang's Shoes. That Confucius is such a sell-out!

"You have a great philosophy, and, with your permission, I think I can turn it into a ton of money."