Ancient Philosopher Fanatic Gifts

Diogenes the Tourist Attraction

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

"Here's the parking lot."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"The issues are a big snore, Dave. Let's talk about my hair on fire."

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'Honey! I'm cave!' (a caveman arrives home)

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"Is there a God?"

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

Otto von Bismarck

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

Super-ego Surveillance

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"

Extreme Sheepherding

"Nothing like a good stretch before looting and burning."

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"