Philosophy Buff Humor Gifts

"Poor Karl Marx...If he had known that guys like you are called 'human capital' these days he would have called his book 'The Sloth.'"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

Cat Nip.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

The Golfing Accident

"I have no thumbs."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Yes, one is a dog."

Paul Ree

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Zenemies.

Optimist