Philosophical Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Yin and Seymour"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'The Questioner'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Pastorius wonders why.

Zenemies.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Trappist Monk Discord

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Optimist

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

HELLth Food Sprouts

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

How world war III started.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Some scents are nonsense.

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Human rights