Philosophical Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Yin and Seymour"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'The Questioner'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Pastorius wonders why.

Trappist Monk Discord

Zenemies.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Optimist

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

HELLth Food Sprouts

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Some scents are nonsense.

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

How world war III started.

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Human rights

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'