Philosophy Buffs Gifts

"The meaning of life is cats."

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

'What proof do we have there is a DOG?'

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

'Sorry, you've got to go back. I've got you penciled in for eight more months of suffering.'

'How can I think without words?'

Famous Ant Haikus.

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'I've five minutes to spare, Miss Marsdon, come in and explain the meaning of life to me. . .'

'I'm an atheist!'

'Turkey in the straw- what the hell does it mean?'

Plato's Dialogues & Letterman's Monologues.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Well, just goes to show - be careful what you wish for.'

Roads to More Humane Future

'Well, the whole purpose of creating the species was because I needed a pill for impotence. Now that they've invented this, we can make them extinct!'

"Don't get caught up on the little things . . . ha, ha - get it?"

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

"Papi, a national study shows that parents don't spend enough time reading to their kids."

"Which god? Mahaviva? Vishnu? Ganeshe? Oden? Maui?"

"Trade?"

"I think, therefore I can."

How to destroy a soul or a nation.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Ockham chooses a razor

Grim Reaper visiting bucket list website.

"Now that we've figured the meaning of life, how do we monetize it?"

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

Frank and Ernest's Alternate Endings. If life keeps giving you lemons ... consider moving to a cooler climate!

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Al. I might have found that quote useful if not for my deadly fear of hobgoblins.

Noncompliant how?

All I do is dispense candy. I need more excitement in my life! Change comes from within!

It it's true that what you don't know can't hurt you, Ernie is practically invincible. (Published originally on April 13, 2006).