Philosopher In Training Gifts

Kid to mom: 'Will I ever run out of questions?'

"The trouble with you is, you see everything in black and white."

'Naughty or nice? -- I was hoping for a little more moral relativism.'

Wrong side of the tracks.

The Optimist and the Pessimist.

"If anyone asks, I'll be in my head."

The Evolution Of Manhood

A man doing a reality check.

'The truth is, it's really the heat, not the humidity.'

Likes

"Good news, mom and dad! It took 20 years, but I finally over my 'I know more than you' phase."

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

Disarming Death

'Language is a great invention, but what if it leads to hate speech?'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Captain Pointy No.30 - Facing a firing squad

"As he looked around Jeremy could not help but feel he was the only one without a porpoise in life."

Saved by the balloon...

"If I can't be offended by stuff then who am I?"

"Do not feel bad - violence is acceptable when the purpose of the toy is its own destruction."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"