Pharmaceutical Pundit Gifts

Prescrip. Drug Prices.

"I'm upping your antidepressants. You're not nearly as gleeful as the people in the TV commercials."

Your sonata will resume after a brief ditty titled Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you. Concerts sponsored by YouTube.

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Patents office.

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

Prescription Drugs '96.

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Judy and Chuck were both gelcaps, so their marriage dissolved faster."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

"It's a major breakthrough. But we're still years away from being able to justify the outrageous cost per pill."

"Thank you all for coming to this small enclosed space to discuss a deadly and highly communicable disease."

"It's the same experimental drug but now it's in a cupcake."

Prescriptions and Side-effects consultant.

"Don't panic. I'm looking up the side effects."