Pharmaceutical Industry Watcher Gifts

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"1971... 2015..."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

Made redundant from Honda please help

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

If you thought that congress was going to work to drive down prescription drugs costs. . . dream on.

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

Health Foods

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

"I'd like to know why we're selling elements to the companies, and then turn around and buy compounds from them."

'I've decided to recall our latest drug because of one side effect - law suits.'

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

Some other drugs you may enjoy.

'Well here's the problem. #AB5 is a Nuclear Missile. # AB6 is a box of surgical gloves.'

"Side effects may include slow, agonizing death followed by spontaneous combustion."

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

Pharm Drugs Inc: 'The placbo group is selected entirely on income - poor people can't afford designer drugs anyway.'

"Think of side effects as supplemental issues, to be covered by your supplemental insurance."

"Don't forget to take a handful of our complimentary antibiotics on your way out."

The Impact of the Blockade on Cuba.

"It looks bad, sir..."

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

'If the drug has that any side effects, let's market it as a biological weapon.'

"I was a truck driver and delivered diesel to gas station. My boss had to declare bankruptcy - he could no longer pay the diesel for our trucks."

"These are church mice, so we'll be testing the cheaper generic version of the drug."

'If we can't cure cancer, our hope is to turn it into a long-term profitbale disease.'

The pharmaceutical industry

'These adverts are designed to give people headaches.'

"Now I see why your dispensing fee is so low."

'I'm going to give you the good news in laymen's terms and the bad news in dollars and cents.'

Your sonata will resume after a brief ditty titled Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you. Concerts sponsored by YouTube.