Pharmaceutical Industry Watcher T-Shirts

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"1971... 2015..."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

If you thought that congress was going to work to drive down prescription drugs costs. . . dream on.

'Anxiety drugs are driving up big pharma stocks, thanks to global armed conflict!'

'I've decided to recall our latest drug because of one side effect - law suits.'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

"I'd like to know why we're selling elements to the companies, and then turn around and buy compounds from them."

Health Foods

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

Some other drugs you may enjoy.

'Well here's the problem. #AB5 is a Nuclear Missile. # AB6 is a box of surgical gloves.'

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

Pharm Drugs Inc: 'The placbo group is selected entirely on income - poor people can't afford designer drugs anyway.'

"Think of side effects as supplemental issues, to be covered by your supplemental insurance."

'And this is our research staff: Brad covers autos, Cathie covers Big Pharma, and Keith knows heavy metals.'

"Don't forget to take a handful of our complimentary antibiotics on your way out."

The Impact of the Blockade on Cuba.

"It looks bad, sir..."

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

'If the drug has that any side effects, let's market it as a biological weapon.'

"These are church mice, so we'll be testing the cheaper generic version of the drug."

"I was a truck driver and delivered diesel to gas station. My boss had to declare bankruptcy - he could no longer pay the diesel for our trucks."

'If we can't cure cancer, our hope is to turn it into a long-term profitbale disease.'

The pharmaceutical industry

'These adverts are designed to give people headaches.'

"Now I see why your dispensing fee is so low."

'I'm going to give you the good news in laymen's terms and the bad news in dollars and cents.'

'You have a serious disease. The good news is enough people have it so a drug company might make money on a cure.'