Pharmaceutical Industry Professional Gifts

'How soon until we can mass produce the stuff?'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Biden Backs Suspending Patents on Vaccines

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Covid Variants

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

The end is near

AstraZeneca Vaccine vs Sputnik V

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

Planes drop vaccines over a city

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

Congratulations on Receiving Your Vaccine Doctor

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."