Pharmaceutical Worker Gifts

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

'Your prescription is ready. Please don't approach the counter. I'll toss it to you.'

'The pressure is too great. We want to be transferred out of panacea research.'

"Hit us with your best derogatory insult. We need to test out our new medication."

"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country>"

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"They're drug testers from the pharmaceutical company."

Medicines Orders

World dominance of sputnik

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Fighting the Pandemic

Booster shots

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'