Pharmaceutical Salesperson Gifts

Aspirin company - Door pushes in and turns.

"You folks in R&D really did make a miracle drug. I've never taken it, but I feel better already!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Have you no common scents?!'

Covid Variants

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Medical Equipment profit chart.

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Pheromones.

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'Is it true? You've been selling your venom to pharmaceutical companies to make anti-venom? Traitor!'

"How about moving in a little closer?"

"I have exclusive rights with Pfizer."

"Wow, we're doing great."

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

Stethoscope

'Our news documentary, 'More depressing government shenanigans,' is sponsored by prozac.'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

"Instead of wasting time naming all the side effects, can't we just say 'stuff might happen'?"