Biopharmaceutical Professional Gifts

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."