Pharmacy Professional Gifts

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Fighting the Pandemic

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

Booster shots

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!