Pharmacist Gifts

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

2021

"My physician prescribed a customized formulation for me."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Exercise is the best medicine. Jump."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

"My drugs are interacting!"

Pharmacist's diary - Staff shortages again!

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Prescription Air Fresheners

Department of Silly Sounding Prescription Medications

Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.

'Okay, so I don't know how to spell it, but just tell your pharmacist it's the drug with the really long name starting with 'r'!'

"Ok, now randomly alternate vowels and consonants and we got a name for our new drug."

Pharmaceutical Co - Naming Division.

"...and our new drugs - Palistilap, Orfinifro and Kyriltliryk - are all palindromes."

"Time to take my horse pills!"

'...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name.'

"If this drug doesn't relax your nerves, try chanting its incredibly soothing brand name."

'We've had this miracle drug for several years but marketing hasn't been able to come up with a good name.'

'We heard that laughter is the best medicine, so beginning Monday we'll be regulating it.'

'My diabetic research shows that test subjects are 98% more likely to take their diabetic pills if the pills are covered in chocolate.'

"It's fine to discover cures, but, remember, chronic conditions are our bread and butter."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

'I hope these make you feel better, because they're all you're getting.'

Doctor Sponsored by Pharmaceutical Companies

'Here's my DNA sequence.'

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

If the drugs do cause a problem then we've got some pills that might help.

How antidepressants should work.

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'Penicillin is called a 'wonder drug' because any time the doctor wonders what you've got, that's what you get.'