Pharmacy Assistant Gifts

"Now they're calling this a 'holistic' drug...I guess because it has a whole list of side-effects."

A Victorian pharmacist.

'I used to hibernate without sleeping pills.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

2021

In basket-case.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

Good Luck!

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

Fighting the Pandemic

Booster shots

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."