Physician's Assistant Gifts

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Morning, all!"

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Physician tending a mummy.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Good Luck!

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"This never happened."