Pet Rivalry Appreciator Pillows

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

A cat person goes to the park for some reason

'What do you think? Surge or escalation?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

Newspaper headline is CUTE PUPPY RESCUED. Cat says: 'Sigh! It's all bad news in the papers, isn't it?'

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

Doggie Bowl Drill

Most dog-like dog.

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'It took me five years to learn, but now I can climb trees! Let's see if that darn cat will laugh at me now...'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Strikeout Dog

'How long have you had this ringing in the ears?'

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

Cat flushing toilet with dog in bath.

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

'...paddlecat is said to have contributed to much of the tension that exists between the two species, even today.'

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

Dog makes cats float with helium.

Sick Exhibitionist

"We never had a 'last conversation,' but if we had, you’d have lost."

Nuke mouse.

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

'Welcome home, Tiddles...'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'