Animal Rivalry Aficionado Pillows

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

'It took me five years to learn, but now I can climb trees! Let's see if that darn cat will laugh at me now...'

Lion v Kiwi.

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

Doggie Bowl Drill

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Strikeout Dog

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Sick Exhibitionist

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

"So how come he gets to stay inside and do his business?"

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

Nuke mouse.

A dog cruising around in his car looking for cats, sporting his number of kill badges of cats on the side of his car.

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

Tortoise being tested for performance enhancing drugs.

Lost CatCat Found.

"It's a dog tradition. Every morning and evening, we thank God that we're not cats."

Nebraska-Oklahoma

'All right, then, let's get out there and show them O's what we've got!'

'Sorry, but I can't see you ever catching the neighbour's cat...'