Pet Peeve Enthusiast Gifts

"Can't you clip your nails on the subway like everyone else?"

Human Cull: Fellow passengers who push in front of where you are standing at the baggage carousel so that you can no longer see the bags.

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'They're for a friend.'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

You know it's my pet peeve when you say "anywhoo."

'Damned tourists.'

"I do, too, notice the little things, and most of them irritate me."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

'He kept saying that, 'my bark was worse than my bite', so I bit him!'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

"Why does she wait until I'm sleeping to knock the pencil around the apartment?"

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'Trampoline...pogo stick...got any other genius ideas?'

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

Dyslexia (dog barking backwards).

Human Cull: People who leave their cars idling when they are stopped for ages.

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

Human Cull: People who let their plants hang over the sidewalk so pedestrians can't walk past normally.

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

Picking Brains

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."