Pet Peeve Enthusiast Pillows

"Can't you clip your nails on the subway like everyone else?"

Human Cull: Fellow passengers who push in front of where you are standing at the baggage carousel so that you can no longer see the bags.

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'They're for a friend.'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

'Damned tourists.'

"I do, too, notice the little things, and most of them irritate me."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"Why does she wait until I'm sleeping to knock the pencil around the apartment?"

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'He kept saying that, 'my bark was worse than my bite', so I bit him!'

Dog says of toy dog: 'He's really just a nodding acquaintance.'

Dyslexia (dog barking backwards).

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

"Hold up-I got sand in my shoe again."

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

Human Cull: People who let their plants hang over the sidewalk so pedestrians can't walk past normally.

Human Cull: People who leave their cars idling when they are stopped for ages.

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

Picking Brains

'Do me a favour-stop saying 'Good night,don't let the bed bugs bite'!'