Pet Peeve Ponderer Gifts

Things to whine about: 'I'm making a list of my pet peeves.'

"I do, too, notice the little things, and most of them irritate me."

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

Human Cull: People who drag their yappy little dogs into stores and restaurants, claiming that they are service or therapy dogs.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Needs to get a life"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Max Weber

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Caption Contest TK

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Fish Food

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

The Collective Unconscious

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'