Pet Peeves Gifts

Human Cull: People who do a slow breast stroke in the fast swimming lane.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Police Feline Unit

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Pick me!"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Why do they do that?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Cat woman shopping for cats.