Pet Owners Day Gifts

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Bitchbark Canoe

Polly txt speak

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Super Dog'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

"Bad dog."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Happy.

Home Sweet Home

"Yes, one is a dog."

Canine Scentipede

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"Fill it up!"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

"Your love gives me strength."

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."