Pet Grooming Joke Collector Pillows

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Cat Boss

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

Parrot annoying dog.

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"They just love tassels."

Polly want a cracker?

"So, according to your resume, you're willing to work for dog food."

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"Let's see, who had the canary?"

Cattery and kennels

"I wasn't dead yet."

"I have a large kitty. He's gentle, just don't make any sudden moves."

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"I'm retired now"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Do you ever wish you could get a nice tan?'

Deer Crossing

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

Groucho Chicken

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."

Dog on a skateboard.