Pet Humor Collector Pillows

'Remember, the best time to walk on it is just after they've washed it.'

"They just love tassels."

Dog on a skateboard.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."