Animal Humor Collectors Pillows

'You two, sort it out!'

'I don't worry about their dumb security system ... after all we're Cat Burglers.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Say hello to my little friend."

Cat and mouse

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

You complete me!

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Ostrich Curoisities

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Mouse with a cat cake.

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Giraffe Rollercoaster

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"I could do that."

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.