Pet Grooming Joke Collector T-Shirts

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Cat Boss

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

Parrot annoying dog.

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"They just love tassels."

Polly want a cracker?

"So, according to your resume, you're willing to work for dog food."

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"Let's see, who had the canary?"

Cattery and kennels

"I wasn't dead yet."

"I have a large kitty. He's gentle, just don't make any sudden moves."

"I'm retired now"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

'Do you ever wish you could get a nice tan?'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

Groucho Chicken

Deer Crossing

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."