Pet Joke Lover Pillows

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have seen some lemmings."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Pet Entertainers

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

The First Cone of Shame.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Dog Calenders.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Anatomy of a cat"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"We hear you have hair of the dog..."