Pet Joke Lover Pillows

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have seen some lemmings."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"We hear you have hair of the dog..."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'