Pet Food Company Executive Gifts

'Sir, please meet Mr Jenkins from Dog Food Inc.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Hey I thought I was your favorite Spot!'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Rabbits launching carrot-rocket.

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Leak in the fish tank.

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

Fluffy explains her string theory.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A dog at the bakery.

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"I'll take this one."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Fancy Feast. Very small brown mouse in gravy.

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Robot Cats - Cleaner, don't shed, and they're programmable.

"Dog toys are really getting high tech."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Labrador for sale

"When did the industry target you for smoking?"

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."