Food Company Executive Gifts

'Well, SURE our customers want more nutritional information, but what about OUR privacy?'

"He's a true visionary, but limited to canned vegetables."

Occu-Pie Mars

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"He likes it."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Internet.

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Ghostbasters 3

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.