Pet Food Expert Gifts

"This is our new product consultant."

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

Fido and Fifi

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"They really are chunky."

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

Cultivated Meat Pet Food Lab

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Mature Cat Formula.

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'