Pet Nutrition Aficionado Gifts

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

"This is our new product consultant."

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

Cat Reads 'Natural Food'.

'Normally, he's an indoor dog, but he got into the bean dip.'

New for aging dogs: Grecian Canine Formula.

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

"I'm getting a little peckish. Hey! How dare you ignore me. I don't care if I have to go out or not, I'm waking you up at 4 a.m."

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Mature Cat Formula.

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'