Pet Food Guru Gifts

'I hope you're not selling something. Rex doesn't like salespeople.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"This is our new product consultant."

"You might consider eliminating some of the roadkill from your diet."

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

'It's important to watch the amount of iron in his diet, too much and he'll only point north.'

New for aging dogs: Grecian Canine Formula.

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

Pet Clinic

Cultivated Meat Pet Food Lab

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Mature Cat Formula.

'Your lizard has a reptile dysfunction.'

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

Coonhound Inc. Petfoods Research & Development