Gourmet Pet Food Aficionado Gifts

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Liverwurst?! Okay, let's try it again, speaking slowly this time. 'Fois. . . gras'."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

'I can understand my mother and my first-grade teacher being there, but there's also a TV announcer who does dog commercials and a second-string catcher for the Detroit Tigers.'

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

"Well, I won't be asking 'what's for dinner' for awhile."

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

'A good day! Two letters for me and a sample of 'Seafood Gourmet Delight' for you.'