Doggy Gourmet Enthusiast Gifts

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog Chow Mein

Homemade dog biscuits.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

"Well-done coming right up."

'Hey - these things are pretty good!'

"The meal was superb...My compliments to the shep."

"It's a new cereal for dogs."

"I'll have what she's having."

'Eugh. This is awful. I'm not the hugest fan of licorice, but this one I found on the sidewalk is disgusting.'

'I think you're eating my pup tarts.'

"Liverwurst?! Okay, let's try it again, speaking slowly this time. 'Fois. . . gras'."