Doggy Gourmet Gifts

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog Chow Mein

Four Star Meal

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"She's eating in tonight."

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

"Dog food again! How about a pup tart instead?"

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'

'Hey - these things are pretty good!'

'Eugh. This is awful. I'm not the hugest fan of licorice, but this one I found on the sidewalk is disgusting.'