Canine Gourmet Gifts

'Eugh. This is awful. I'm not the hugest fan of licorice, but this one I found on the sidewalk is disgusting.'

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog Chow Mein

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

"I need some assistance here."

"The slow approach, the suspicious sniff, the final turning away...nobody does finicky like Precious."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"I know it's pricey, but I think going back to the old food is probably a good

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"Cat Yummies again?"

"First rules of chef school: no serving table scraps, and if food falls on the floor, leave it."

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

'Hey - these things are pretty good!'

'I think you're eating my pup tarts.'

'This is awful tasting stuff...contains chicken parts...I hate to even imagine what parts!'