Dog Food Gourmet Gifts

'I think you're eating my pup tarts.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

His Her Cakes

French wine

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Recycling bottle bank.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"