Dog Food Gourmet Gifts

'I think you're eating my pup tarts.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

French wine

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

His Her Cakes

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Regular service or affected?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"